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Secrets to a Lasting Relationship

College romances often promise more than they can deliver. There is good reason for this. In those early years of adulthood, goals are sometimes very concrete but not very close at hand. Perhaps you imagine yourself with a family, a home, a career, but good times with friends with benefits are diversions from those goals. Even as you promise yourself to another, perhaps even becoming engaged, you may be enticed to date around, to party rather than plan, to live without obligation. At this stage of life, such lackadaisical attention to long term goals is both natural and reasonable. Freedom presents opportunity and life demands seizing it. Sometimes, however, we find ourselves emotionally bruised from relationships that seemed so right but somehow failed.

Moving on from college, many of us find ourselves upwardly mobile. Now twenty or thirty something with growing bank accounts, new responsibilities, and more mature expectations, we start to look again for love. Perhaps marriage seems a very real possibility now. New relationships seem to promise more. This is where things can get really tricky. Starting a new relationship with conversations about long-term goals and homesteading can raise cautionary signs to other singles that are not as sure of their futures. Perhaps this is familiar to you. Along the way, you've lost a few of the "good ones" and asked yourself more than once, "How can something so right go so wrong?"

Amid the broken hearts are, you found yourself destroyed by the habits of loved ones. Perhaps you promised your heart to someone with an intolerable addiction, or to someone who lied, or to someone who was afraid of commitment. Your sense of others honesty is diminished. You feel cheated and betrayed. You wonder if there will ever be another to share your hopes, dreams, and life.

It's time for that reassessment of self. Look around you. Over the years, even as they seem riddled with heartache, you have grown. You aren't that unsuspecting kid who entered the university looking for a degree and a wedding certificate. Your heart is not easily swayed by a good-looking face and a sexy walk. Your goals are focused. You know who you are and what you want and this is something to be thankful for. While others of your youth have found themselves married and divorced or married and forever connected to others from whom they grew apart, you are footloose and fancy free. When you choose your life partner, you can feel stronger in your choice and better about the future.

Furthermore, dating is not as hard as it used to be. Where you once met companions at bars filled with loud music or blaring sports, these days you easily sift through those who should not apply to find potential lovers who meet your reasonable expectations. The world of internet matchmaking applauds you in your success and responds by helping you find another who deserves you.

Posted by eDatingCentral.com Jul 14, 2008 5:27 pm


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