How Toxins Hurt Your Dating
Most singles have probably experienced the heartbreak of either not finding someone interesting or not being able to make a relationship last. What is it that is ruining their chances of meeting someone just right for them and what is preventing them from staying in a long term relationship? The obvious excuse, "It just didn't work out." will not work anymore.
Some daters become stuck in a cycle of dating that is a result of past negative experiences. On the other hand, some singles cannot change the way they perceive the courting process and this affects the outcome of their future relationships. In a recent article, British psychiatrist, Dr. Victoria Lukats has identified five dating toxins: shyness, fussiness, low self-esteem, lack of opportunity and desperation.
Shyness -fear of rejection keeps some from even trying to meet other singles. It's easier to be alone then being let down.
Fussiness -some won't give others a chance because they still feel that their past mate was the best or that their date doesn't meet all of their qualifications.
Low Self-esteem - there are some that are negative about themselves and their relationship will usually unconsciously sabotage it in some way. They believe that the romance is doomed or that they are not worthy enough to be with someone special and will bring that negativity into the relationship.
Lack of opportunity - some hold to a misconception that they are too busy to meet anyone. The truth is that this person is using it as a defense mechanism. These singles may have a fear of commitment, being disappointed or being rejected.
Desperation - some become desperate when they look at other happy couples and married couples who seem to have it all. This leads to hanging on to someone as soon as they get a chance to meet them. This clinginess may just drive their date away.
Dr. Victoria Lukats runs a Dating Detox for a British online personals web site, PARSHIP.co.uk. She helps members overcome these toxins so that they may find compatible people and begin satisfying relationships without sabotage. She does this by putting them in uncomfortable situations, coaches them through it and then teaches the necessary skills to overcome any toxins. Many singles would benefit from the type of therapy Dr. Lukats is providing to the PARSHIP members.
Posted by eDatingCentral.com Nov 22, 2007 4:56 am
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