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When Divorced People Date Again
Let's put it out there. Dating can be a real challenge. If it weren't, there wouldn't be so many web personals services out there. Being a single parent complicates the process even more. You know your kids are watching your every awkward move, so spare them from going through the mating challenge with you.
Children of divorce already have emotional challenges to overcome. They seek reassurance there is stability in their lives. Therefore, to avoid misperceptions that you don't take dating seriously or are promiscuous, shield your kids from your love life at all costs. It doesn't matter if you met your guy or gal online or in line somewhere, meet over coffee during the day or when the children are out of the house. When you feel it's time to introduce your male or female companion to your kids, use a neutral, public place such as a park so your home, the place your children should feel the most secure, doesn't feel compromised. This also gives you a chance to see how this potential suitor behaves around your children without making your children feel trapped to interact with someone they are likely to initially read as a threat.
You have to make the determination when you should tell your children you are going to begin seeing people socially, using their age and maturity level as guidelines of when and how. And, it's best to assume that if they have a relationship with your ex-wife or ex-husband, they are likely to dish about any Aunt Sally or Uncle Joe you introduce them to. Therefore, consider giving your ex the head's up this may be coming, especially if a meeting is on the horizon. Hopefully you can forge a post-marital system of support and make dating as a single mom or dad a hassle that affects your children with minimal disruption.
Posted by eDatingCentral.com Aug 6, 2008 10:34 am
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