Dating Full Circle
It's a popular notion that romantic chemistry is born out of the differences between dating partners rather than their similarities. We so often hear about how all the good girls fall for the bad boys, for example. The disparity that exists between the sexes (or at least, between the stereotypical images that we have of each one) is known as polarity, and is the essence of what is meant by the old adages "opposites attract" and "familiarity breeds contempt".
The problem is, the sparks that fly when two opposites come together are often short-lived. The thrill of the exotic and unknown can burn out quickly because it turns into the familiar before too long. Sometimes the excitement engendered by dating partners who are vastly different from each other has more to do with the enticement of the chase rather than the stability of lasting love.
Singles with much in common, on the other hand, can often derive a lot of comfort from each other. As Sarika Dani explains in a Tango Magazine article entitled "When it comes to dating, sometimes the familiar fits", this can hold especially true for people of mixed racial heritage. Thanks to the blending of cultural traits that such people share, they can provide a warm oasis for each other in a world that often responds to them with misunderstanding or indifference.
In any relationship, the excitement of becoming acquainted eventually fades as life settles into a more day-to-day routine. Many of us find that it is particularly those qualities that seemed so novel at first that become unappealing when the newness wears off.
In the article, Sarika Dani (who is Indian-American) compares her dating experiences with men who seemed wildly exotic to those that she had with men who seemed "too close to home to be attractive." The choice of whether to seek polarity or similarities in matters of intimacy probably boils down to whether one gives stimulation or understanding the greater priority. In the end, Sarika concludes that familiarity makes for a more durable relationship in the long run.
Posted by eDatingCentral.com Jul 25, 2007 6:37 am
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