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Dating After a Divorce

There are many reasons why relationships, even those that have lasted a long time, come to an end. One of these many reasons could be one partner wanting to have more space to him or herself.

One would think it ironic that a person in a relationship would want some space to him- or herself. After all, when we enter into a serious relationship, like marriage, are we not supposed to share everything we have with that person? Body, mind, soul and spirit – are we not supposed to be one in those things with the person we love?

It is true that when you and your special someone have that special intimate connection, the two of you are supposed to become one. You share a life together and support each other all the way. That is what being a couple is about.

Unfortunately, many people forget that a couple is still made of two separate individuals, individuals with distinct needs and desires. You may think that just because you are part of a couple, you have the right to subjugate your mate's needs and desires for your own. You may also think that it is only proper for your other half to focus his or her eyes only on you.

But that is not the case. Love is supposed to be a partnership, a sharing between two people. It is not a conquest where you treat your mate as your territory or your possession, something that you should closely guard lest someone invades your territory or steals the treasure you so cherish.

Actually, when you put a leash on your partner and tighten it every so often, he or she would feel the strain of the relationship. Your love match would lose his or her self-esteem and even learn to resent you. Being controlling and territorial is not a way to nurture a bond; rather, it is a way of killing it.

The key to love is trust. If you love your mate, you should learn to trust him or her instead of being possessive or controlling of him or her. Relationships do not succeed without trust.

Posted by eDatingCentral.com Jan 5, 2009 11:42 am

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