Natural Dating Expressions
Today, there are all kinds of dating advice available on how to have a successful date. Among other things, some might tell you to smile regardless of what you are feeling. While this may create an outward atmosphere of congeniality and confidence, it tends to create more problems than it solves.
As an example, when singles meet, regardless of the reason, there is a tendency to engage in boundary testing. Therefore, if someone says something that you disagree with, chances are he/she already has a sense that this is how you will feel. So when you smile or pretend everything is well, that person is left being confused. This confusion can easily create a sense of disconnection, and the instinct to look for someone else.
Along with this, at some level, you will be aware that you are smiling just for the sake of appearance. When it comes to thinking about spending the rest of your life engaged in the same behavior, chances are you will not be thrilled. From there, you may well do a number of other things to try and end the relationship, or cause your dating partner as much discomfort as you are feeling.
On the other hand, being your natural self can have a number of advantages. If you feel offended or unhappy about a comment, making that known gets the matter said and over with. How your date deals with your truth will reveal enough to say whether or not you want to stay in the relationship or not. Finding out that your current date is a mismatch gives you the chance to look elsewhere for a more suitable mate.
Today, many singles have found match making tips on smiling at all costs to be worse than useless. Among other things, first dates include learning about where and how each person, as an individual, defines their own space. By being direct and honest about your personal boundaries, you may well find yourself in a much more rewarding relationship than you had expected.
Posted by eDatingCentral.com Dec 26, 2007 9:42 am
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